Dec 28

Dec 28 Pivoting Doesn't Mean Quitting

Pivoting can come with some disheartening feelings. It can feel like quitting, giving in or giving up.

I’ve been an athlete in one way or another for most of my life. From hiking 14ers in Colorado with my family and our mountain dog to YMCA and club soccer, junior high and high school sports and ski racing from the time I could walk up to collegiate club racing and coaching when I aged out of it. I sprinkled in with all of this the odd 5 and 10k runs, spartan race, taking up climbing, slacklining and all sorts of other athletic hobbies.

All of this has kept me healthy, given me goals and kept me physically and mentally active. But, as anyone who has ever done any amount of sporting activities, whether competitively or as a hobbyist, along with the highs, progress and physical triumphs comes a litany of injuries, from the annoying bruise to the agonizing breaks and tendon injuries that haunt you far into the future.

Now, I suppose it would be perfectly reasonable to take injuries, especially as I get older as a sign that it’s time to move on, do something less physical. But it turns out I’m a stubborn guy (thanks Mom and Dad) and I don’t like to give up or give in. For a while I thought that meant gritting my teeth, pushing through the pain and gutting it out. I came from the “No Pain No Gain” generation of thinking, afterall.

Well, lucky for me I also got somewhere along the way the trait and mindset that allows me to take in what’s happening and adapt (again thanks Mom and Dad). This hasn’t been easy, pivoting to new types of exercises to try and correct imbalances caused by overusing injured and abused muscles and tendons. It can be a humbling experience, and, in many ways, feel a lot like giving up and giving in to the injuries. But I never forget, or at least I try not to forget, that this is a pivot to make myself stronger all around. Injuries shut a door for now, but it doesn’t mean there isn’t another route to my goals.

Now, if I can use this mindset to help fight through the challenges of athletic and physical fitness goals, what else can I address? Oh, there’s an idea, how about the career that I’ve spent so much time and heartache trying to figure out?!

Well, let’s take a look at my career so far. I started off with the idea of being a sports writer. I soon discovered that wasn’t for me so I continued on with generals. Through a randomly taken “Intro to Non-Linear Editing” class, I found a love for video production, something I had never considered before then. I most definitely wasn’t one of those kids running around with a camera growing up.

So the natural progression was to pursue the Broadcast emphasis of my Journalism degree instead of the Print one I had thought I would go after. This worked well until I worked full time in a news studio for a while. The work was great, but I quickly discovered while working as a Cameraman/Soundman/Technical Director when 2 people didn’t show up for work…all for minimum wage…that there was no future for me in news. But I learned things there I knew I could apply to future video production work.

Ok, so how about something to do with skiing? I grew up watching Warren Miller films with my family and thought that maybe there was a career in that! After many many many…many emails to every ski movie production company I could dig up I finally got some opportunities! Unfortunately a couple were unpaid in places that I couldn’t afford to be unpaid. I managed to get one lined up though, had an apartment set up and was ready to go when I learned that the company was moving and couldn’t bring me on anymore.

Ok, that’s fine. Pivot again. Let’s take a roadtrip and go in person to all of these companies I never got a response from! I struck out with most of them. But one offered me a spot. So I packed up all I had, quit my full time job logging reality tv footage and headed for Colorado, excited to start my career in ski movies! Well, this started off with what I should have taken immediately as a sign to run away. The guy who had hired me didn’t answer emails, phone calls or texts for the first week I was there. So there I was in a new town, living in a condo with craigslist roommates, questioning all of my decisions. But I stuck around. Sometimes you push through the injuries thinking it will all get better. I pushed through those injuries for a year. A year of being paid late or not at all. The adventures were great. But I hit a point where once I again I knew I had to pivot and leave my dream, this time the dream of ski movies. I wasn’t being paid and the clock was ticking.

Ok, where is there any spot to go that’s not running home with my tail between my legs? A friend called and Salt Lake opened up as a pivot opportunity. It was a gut punch starting over again. I had to once again prove myself in a new market. But that’s fine. I could do that. I hated the idea of starting over, but I was young and stubborn and green enough to think that just being me would knock down some doors.

It didn’t work out quite as I planned. I’ve moved up over the years, but I feel like I’ve had to pivot so many times and start over a few times too, which has been hard.

My point, with all this stream of consciousness raving is that most of our paths aren’t linear. And they aren’t the perfect ones we would have laid out if crafting a career map. I would never have chosen my first career move to be a giant leap into a company who overpromised and underdelivered. That feels a lot like a shoulder injury that holds me back from the goals I want to achieve. But it taught me to see warning signs, how to write contracts to better protect myself (although I’ve had to relearn that lesson a few times since then) and gave me the base mental strength right off the bat to know that I can bounce back and pivot with the best of them.

I’ve pivoted and felt like I’ve started over more times than I’d like to think of. And I’d be lying if I said that this didn’t leave me feeling deflated and defeated.

But all of this has forced me to work other muscles that make me stronger all around, mentally, creatively and professionally. Sure I’d love to be shooting big budget TV and Movies right now instead of trying to hunt down paychecks from shoots I don’t really want to admit I was on. And had I not suffered losses and professional miscues and injuries through mistakes along the way, maybe I would be there.

But I’m not. And I also know that I wouldn’t be the rounded professional and filmmaker I am. I’ve shot Live Sports, Events and News. I’ve worked on Documentaries, Reality TV and even Yoga workouts. I’ve edited, been a PA, Utility, AC, Camera Operator, Drone Pilot and Director of Photography. I’ve even been, because of an amazing stubborn friend, a Broadcast Engineer at times. I’ve survived almost 10 years of being entirely freelance and started several companies, alone and with partners. Who has all of that on their resume?!

It’s hard to stomach where I am now. Especially with the high hopes and expectations I had early on and continue to hold in my mind. But from sports and my professional career I have learned and firmly believe that pivoting and adapting are not the same things as quitting. It just means that I’ll be stronger and more rounded when I do get there.