New Year, Conflicting Feelings

The New Year is, and has always been, a conflicting time for me. As a freelancer it's easy to see it as a slow down in work, a scramble to hunt down those final paychecks and a retrospective analysis of what went wrong last year.

And this can all be incredibly daunting and overwhelming, like a giant storm cloud rolling in obscuring any optimistic outlook of a rosy new year. (Full transparency I did write a much darker version of this in my own journaling)

All of this, combined with big holiday crowds and hustle bustle typically have me a bit beat down. And this year was no different.

I'll admit that I woke up on Christmas completely overwhelmed and unsure of myself. Another year, another set of expectations I set for myself that I now look back at unfulfilled. It's hard when your harshest critic is some self projected, somehow more successful version of yourself looking down like a disappointed dad.

But the truth that I pessimistically tend to avoid is that times of self reflection are also met with the possibility of future fulfillment. There's no timeline for dreams and storms come in cycles. The darkest clouds are always followed by incredible beauty and often leave what was muddled and unsure much more clear.

So here's to looking to the sun breaking out in 2022. May you bring new adventures with good friends and new chances to exceed even the most irrational of self imposed expectations.

- GALEN MURRAY -

VISUAL VAGABONDS Owner/DP